will this winter ever end?

ok... so I LOVE winter. Love it. L to the O to the V to the E it. but I am done. over it. finito. and we have not even gotten that much snow. my reason? Patrick's asthma has been over the top bad this winter, we already have had several ER visits with steroid shots, one hospital stay, and today another DR visit because of a cough and wheezing and fever, with a trip for an x-ray - a procedure in which my 4 yr old told me I could "wait outside" because he was a "big man". sniff. sniff. they took him in and i could hear them giggling and talking. they would snap the picture and then let him run over to see his "guts" as he called them. is it sad that my 4 yr old has had so many xrays he knows the routine and even told the lady today that he "loves xrays"? they were so impressed with how he did it was insane. the last time we had to do an ER visit he brought me "monkey" {his beloved sock monkey} and told me monkey needed a shot. thats how I knew he needed to go.
Several weeks ago, he had a cough, and wheeze we took him to the Dr. and they said ear infection and Upper respiratory infection. which was fine. we started antibiotics. again fine. But patrick is a child that goes down the tubes. And fast. so within 1 1/2 days of starting antibiotics he was not doing any better, so I said to the D-man, give him his nebs over night while I am at work. DO not wake him up and if he isn't better in the am I will take him back tot he DR. he went down the tubes so fast that night that we ended up with a 4 day hospital stay. Not my finest hour. So this am all the way to the Dr. I was panicking. because I will be honest. I. CAN.NOT. DO. ANOTHER. HOSPITAL. STAY. period. end of friggin story. I can't do it.
The NP hears fluid in his lungs, so off we go for the x-ray- with the other 2 kiddos in store. Jadyn by this time {who was home with an upset stomach} is convinced that NOONE in the world loves her because she didn't get to see the Dr. today. ummm hello... why pay a 20 dollar copay for them to tellme, yes Chrissi your daughters stomach is upset, yes there is a flu like virus going around, please keep her hydrated yada yada yada, all stuff that I as a nurse know. Wyatt also has a cough but at the Dr. visit today was still acting quite Wyatt like and by that I mean spawn of somethin gI am not sure of yet, but wild as anything. {by the way WOULD not change that for the world lol} so the visit today was just for the one who just spent 4 days in the hospital 2 weeks ago, my preemie, my asthma kiddo.
so we are at the dr- all the kids want on the table. fine. then they all want down. one. by.one. except patrick who knows that when we go he has to sit up there. Jadyn says... "I want down now"
me: ok.. heres the deal. you either sit there and be quiet or you get down and sit on the floor and bequiet but there is no getting back up there once you are down. period. make your decision.
Jadyn: I have thought about it and I want to get down and sit on the floor. so she gets down.
Wyatt: My want down.
so i go through the whole speal again, because I am trying to make them understand the consequences and actions that go along with every decision so they had the choice but both were clear once they were down they were DOWN. not 5 mintues later the NP walks in and it starts.
Jadyn: i want back up with Patrick.
Wyatt: my want back up.

SERIOUSLY? are you Friggin kidding me????

sorry guys- you made your choice. mommy was very clear. you were not getting back up there. Wyatt is fine with it. he starts playing.
*flop* as Jadyn flops her self down on the floor.
How could you make me sit on the dirty floor?
dont you see how dirty it is?
there is no where for me to sit and i am on the floor.
Don't you see you only love patrick. I am sick too and I can't see the Dr.
you don't love me.

ME: yes, J i love you very much, but remember patrick got out of the hospital 2 weeks ago and he is sick again. you have a stomach bug, the very same one mommy has that has made mommy throw up and crap out things you don't want to see. EVER. and you don't hear me complaining about not seeing the dr. {because hellooooooooo for all 4 of us to see them today would have been 80.00 for them to tell the remaining 3 yes you have a virus. stay hydrated} and I am sorry you feel that way but you made your choice blah blah blah. I am telling you it all fell on deaf ears. she cried for over an hr over having to sit on the carpeted floors of the Dr. office. all the way home. all. the. way. home.

I am trying to be patient. I am trying to realize she does not feel good. just like me. just like p. just like wy. but I am over it.
this winter has sucked ass. and I mean that in the nicest possible way. I am so over littl eman being sick. the d-man and I decided tonight that he is not going to play t-ball like we had planned because we just want him to heal and see how he does over the summer and fall before we do any sports with thim. which sucks because we let him go pick out his bat and batting helmet and glove last week. all red with flames. he is so excited. so i told him tonight he could wear them in the back yard and practice on the T. now we just have to get J signed up for baseball. unless she changes her mind. again.

did I mention Wy spiked a fever tonight? F*&^! seriously. and I have a test tomorrow night. double dammit lol.

so winter, as much as I love you, I am done with you. this is my official divorce from winter. COME ON SPRING!