No matter who you voted for in this years election, yesterday was a wonderful, historic moment in our Nation's history. How awesome was it to see our first African American President take office? I know that there are devout McCain supporters out there and I am the first to admit that my husband and father and brother voted for McCain. I flipped. I was going to vote for McCain, but voted for Obama in the end. Yes this was historical for us, life changing even, to see all of those people on the National mall in support of this man, this change in our country was inspiring. Jadyn's school watched it yesterday and I was so glad. I got papers from yesterday and today to keep in my treasure box, yes its historical for us, but this has set a precedent and for our children, our future generations this will no longer be historical, this will be the norm, and how wonderful that is, that the walls of black and white are not there for our Commander in Chief and our children hopefully won't have to worry about it. I am so thankful for this change in our country. I hope you are too.

the fat girl.........

so does everyone know the fat girl? the group of friends that has the ONE overweight girl in it? the one girl in the family who is over weight? The girl who can't let her picture be taken, won't let her husband see her naked, and is constantly worried about her weight?
Let me introduce you to someone.....
My name is Chrissi. and. I. AM. FAT. Last time I weighed in at my doc's office I was a whopping 225. I told them they didn't need to weigh me, that I could tell them all they needed to know about my weight. F-A-T. they laughed at me. seriously.
Now I did start the Atkin's 2 weeks ago. I am down 7 lbs. to 218. which I thought was good. but this Atkin's shit is killing me. literally. I may starve. to. death. i love my carbs. I love my fries and my chips those are my downfall. but during the first two weeks of atkin's I co uldn't even eat a piece of freakin fruit. I love apples. I have been to the gym 4 times in the last 2 weeks, and would like to go more but MAN I am just so friggin tired. not to mention tha tI am convinced that everyone and I mean EVERYONE right down to the man in the corner is staring at me, laughing at me, talking about the fat girl on the eliptical, pointing at me or at least thinking in their head... man is that girl fat.
Now i know I know, I am a size 18 it could be worse, I could be bigger, I could be the 750 lb man on TV. I watched the TLC show on the obese clinic in NYC and I would poke the D-man and say see...see...thats what I look like.
at which point I get the "look" an dhe says Yeah Chrissi because I can't even see past your thigh. I know it could be worse. I get it. but I have a 7 yr old daughter who the other day she told me she was fat. my 7 yr old who only weighs 46 lbs and is probably the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life. {ok ..ok... so I am biased} so I know I need to lose the weight for my health, my BP, my thyroid w hich is part of the problem, and so I can show my kids a healthier lifestyle. its just that those damn McDonalds fries call me. seriously. you doubt me? they DO!
Anyway- tonight is my first Dr. Pepper in 10 days. 10! and I am loving every bit of that wonderful bitch!

I am thinking the atkins is not for me. I can't do it. 7 lbs is great so far. but I have a twin brother who runs marathons. MARATHONS do you hear me? and last year the 2 mile walk/run I was supposed to do with him i faked a migraine because I was embarresed of how big I had become and how I would not be able to do it. the walk /run is in july. My goal is to lose at least 30 lbs by then. to do the walk and to prove that I CAN dO it. so you will hear me vent, scream, cry and moan about it. but I WILL DO IT.